Friday, May 8, 2009

This is, i guess, my lousiest week! Many shit holes. Be it relationships, or whatever.

Here, i wanted to voice out, vent out all my frustration and whatever shit!

I'm sick from monday, till now i'm still sick cos of this flu. I dont think i ever felt better these few days.

I'm unsuccessful on the pitch. I failed to make it to the next round of sp soccer trials. I felt the trial was unfair. Whatever.

I felt that my doted sister is drifting away from me, i dont know its true or not. But that's what i feel :(:X I really doted on her like a real sister. Just because she thinks i shouted at her? I didn't shout, serious, maybe my voice gets a bit too loud. But seriously i 'shouted' at her cos i really care. Does she really understand? Maybe she is too young. . . Her blog only highlighted my bad, did she ever feel my genuine concern for her? I think she do feel it. I could feel her respect for me and i sincerely appreciated this.

Tonight at bbc, i waved at her to come over to me. I think she nvr saw these, not that she pretend. I believed her. Before going home, i wanna go koufu find her. I wanna pass her a 250ml carrot juice to express my apology for 'shouting' at her. I admit that day i was at fault. I saw someone i didnt like there. Thats why i nvr go find her. Fate let us meet tonight, but we nvr meet up face to face :(( Why there is no chance for me to express my apology?

I cant imagine if i'm no longer her korkor in her eyes. I hope this day wont ever come. I admit i do miss her but i'm sadden when i saw her with her friends. Cos i knew her coming over to me is very low. Sometimes i really felt that her friends and her basketball are a priority before me :(( I hope this is never true.

I hope whatever i said here, she wont be hurt, anger or any negative thoughts. She really dont have, dont need to change to accomodate me. If she does, i felt i have sinned. I just wanna let out all my steam, please dont change any thing of your life for me...I dont know she will come upon this post or not. But if she does. I wanna tell her that i really dote on you.

My Puli Jels. . . I'm disappointed with myself. I still dont have yr no. I lacked courage :( But i felt that i cant pass your friends' round :((

Maybe i have forgotten to post more shits that happen during this lousy week. If so, i will update.

080509fri

11:27 PM